Menopause has brought me more in touch with my body (if my husband is reading this, I know where your mind is going. . . stop. . . this is about yoga).
For years my body kept changing. Every week was a new mix of sleep or no sleep, lose weight or can’t, hot flashes or none. I tell my friends who are in menopause that if they hate how things are going now, hang on, it will all change in a few weeks. I had become very attuned to all these changes, so my yoga disaster caught me off guard this morning.
I had no idea how tense I was. My muscles had coiled into tight balls while I was sitting in this chair, learning to blog. Frustration pooled in my shoulders and stomach and back. And I probably wouldn’t have really noticed had I not gone to yoga this morning. I walk around sometimes, lost in my head, out of touch with my body, wondering why I can’t sleep or why my stomach feels off.
When I tried down dog today, my legs trembled, my back pinched, my shoulders bunched. Then I remembered to breathe, slowly, and to use my mind to relax each muscle group. It took the entire hour, but I could feel the tension leaving, bit by bit. By the end I was able to control my muscles as opposed to being controlled. I was breathing deep, into my belly, feeling relaxed. I started to drift into sleep during Savasna (corpse pose).
I’m back in my chair, blogging, but with a new awareness of how to keep myself in tune; less time in my head, more time in my body. Breathe.