Today is my wedding anniversary. I count this one as 16/20. We’ve been married for 16 years, but together for 20. The day we got married might be exactly 16 years ago today, but a lot of important milestones, events that formed who we are as a couple, happened in those four years that we dated. So they count.
The biggest event or moment happened when I decided that I might actually be interested in being married. Before I met my husband I had absolutely no interest in marriage. I had never seen a marriage that made me think I might want that kind of life.
So I set my sights on a career that works best if you are completely unattached, and I was sailing along, having just finished my Master’s degree when I met “the one.” I hate the idea of love at first sight, and this wasn’t (I mean, I thought he was a real cutie, but love?). But I did know early on, sometime in the first year that this was a really great man, the type you should marry. He had somehow snuck in under the wire because I was committed to dating completely unmarry-able men.
And I wasn’t all excited and happy because I had met “the one.” I had plans and goals and now I had this amazingly perfect-for-me man who could throw a wrench in them. But the choice was mine and I decided to throw the wrench in my plans. My head said, “why would you sign up for marriage, you know what it’s like, ICK!” But my heart (which was a closet romantic and gambler) said, “this guy, he’s the one, I bet you two can rewrite the script on marriage.” Smart heart.
Sixteen years ago today I put on an annoyingly big, heavy dress (it took two people to help me go to the bathroom in it!) and we had a big, fun party to announce to the world that we were making a life-long commitment to each other. But in my heart, I had already made that commitment. Twenty years ago, sometime in the fall, I paced around my apartment, and debated, and over-thought, and weighed all my options; then tossed that all aside and took a leap of faith and love and decided not to run away, but to make a commitment to making it work with my “one” instead.