There are days and weeks where almost everything seems to go right. Things that I put into motion finally start to show results, my hair stays exactly where I want it to, and clothes fit that I thought were too small. When those times happen I wonder what lucky star I am sitting under or what planets aligned or who in heaven is scrambling things in my favor. I pay attention to my lucky days and appreciate them.
When my parents went to Greece they bought me a bracelet with the Greek key of life design. My mom explained that the pattern was a reminder of the ups, downs and middle ground of life. I loved that ancient wisdom. It reminded me of the universality and timelessness of good times and bad. This past week I’ve been in a down trend and I’ve needed that reminder.
Some of you may know (because I posted some super pissy posts on Facebook) that my car was broken into last weekend. While far from a major tragedy, it is a major pain in the butt. It brought people into my life who I would normally not be around; like the cop who may have failed victim relations classes and the criminals who temporarily reminded me that uncaring people like them exist. They took a bunch of my stuff, but that can all be replaced. What has been much harder to replace has been some sense of order. From the first day I felt off kilter and although it is diminishing, I still feel some today.
As someone with either a major case of bunny-brain or possibly ADD, I rely on a series of calendars, notebooks and computer files to keep my life moving forward. All of those things were in my stolen briefcase. They are completely without value to the thieves, but, I’ve discovered, they are the anchor and compass of my days. Without those things I wasn’t sure when I had appointments, when my kids’ school projects were due, which blog reviewers I had contacted about my book, and what information I needed to tell my students to keep them on track.
The break-in started what feels like a Greek key downturn that I am currently riding out while looking for some bright lights ahead. Maybe its just perception, but in addition to the frustrations of replacing so many stolen things, my hair seems to have taken a turn for the worse and I am feeling anything but light and healthy on my cleanse. All this has made me short on patience, agitated and pissy. Which sounds horrible, but I am starting to see that it is just as important to notice and feel the downturn days as it is the upturn ones. I may feel down right now, but that will serve as a contrast when the key turns and I’m on the upswing again.
I love the idea of finding joie in my vivre (hence the name of the blog), but there is also value in some sadness, frustration and even anger in life because you can’t know one without the other. Light doesn’t exist without dark.